As I write this, I realize that I am a complete hypocrite. I will undoubtedly have a bridal shower should I ever get married. However, I am more determined than ever to make it a fun, co-ed, event. No more pink and green bridal showers with balloons and fancy cake.
I have several issues with bridal showers. Fist off, they are BORING and WRONG. Here is why:
The bride has registered and some pricey place and you must now go and buy her gifts of her choosing. You must then sit there and WATCH the bride open up gifts she already knows she is getting (she picked them out...duh) and pretend like you are surprised to see that someone has purchased the high speed blender with 4 speeds when is reality, you saw it on the registry and it was no longer available. Let's put 2 and 2 together, shall we?
Bridal shower games. Enough said. As if the gift opening wasn't bad enough, now I need to play bridal bingo.
The odd combination of family and friends in what could be a potentially hilarious time (though maybe that is saved for the bachelorette party...) where everyone is forced to be on their best behavior and pretend to look shocked and embarrassed by the nun-like lingerie the bride's mom has just given her for her wedding night. The entire time thinking...if you cut about 5 inches off the bottom...and maybe removed the crotch from the panties...we'd be talking.
The entire pretense that the bride IS actually a Virgin. I know, I know, some moms just don't want to know. But let's be realistic here people. This particular bride once told about having sex in the dugout on the baseball field. Let's just call a spade a spade and say that the creamy "honeymoon night" candles are maybe not the best idea.
And FINALLY, and maybe this is just my observation...but bridal showers are FULL of OTHER BRIDES! If you are engaged you are bound and determined to show up to a bridal shower because what better way to flaunt your rock than among other brides and people who want to BE brides.
I obviously went to a bridal shower on Sunday. While it was amazing to see my friend who is getting married (we don't see each other too often) and she looks VERY happy and in love, it made me realize that I will never be a conventional bride. My "bridal shower" will be a conjoined party with my hubby to be. If not only to show him that when we receive the gift of a vacuum or a colander or a set of pots and pans...that they are not soley for my purpose...they are for him as well! He should share in the joy of opening up new kitchen items...and also share in the joy of using them! (And ok...and he can ask for a new BBQ set or something...I'm open to sharing my registry.) If you are lucky enough to come to my bridal shower, be prepared for Martinis and beer and possibly a mosh pit of wrapping paper to whoever gives the best gifts.
P.S. Should my mother ever buy me lingerie that is not inappropriate, I will be upset.