Bridge & Tunnel: The Adventures of Two Single and Fabulous Best Friends

Top 5 Places I Want To Have Sex But Haven't Yet- UPDATE

Back in July, I wrote a post called Top 5 Places I Want To Have Sex But Haven't Yet, which I thought was a pretty darn good list! #5 on that list just happened to be "Sex in a car".

Well, Ladies, last night, I scratched #5 off my list! Achoo and I were hanging out at Grams, and the mood struck. Obviously nooky at G-Ma's is out of the question, so I slyly suggested that we go outside and rock the backseat of his SUV.

After, I got praise for my good idea, and we both admitted it was pretty kinky. I don't want to make it a regular option, though, because I want to keep up the hype that surrounds it.

Ok, ladies (and gentlemen, I can't exclude if we have male readers!), have you gotten the opportunity to scratch any locations off your lists? What locals are on your list! Share!

What This Jersey Girl Is Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving, Readers! Since I won't have access to a computer tomorrow (which has also cut down on my posting) I thought that I'd do my Thanksgiving post today. So, without further ado, my list of things I'm thankful for:

1. My Friends and Family (especially Achoo, because he is the Lurve of my Life)
2. Jersey and her fuzzy face (even though she's snuggling with grandma more than me)
3. Uggs
4. Achoo's sweatshirts
5. Peanut butter M&M's
6. Grey's Anatomy
7. Glee!
8. My new job
9. Apple Pie
10. Farmville (a-dict-ted)
11. The color pink
12. The Letter J
    
13. Sesame Street, apparently
14. Cosmo's
15. Blogs
16. Our readers
17. Hibiscus flowers
18. Being a Jersey Girl
19. The beach
20. My bed

There are many others, but I'll cap the list for this year at 20. So, dear readers, what are you thankful for this year?

Happy Holiday! Enjoy your food coma!

A Sexual First

Yesterday was Achoo's Birthday!!!! Happy Birthday, Baby! (He does not even remotely read this, nor does he know it exists, but still...)

I was invited by his mom over for dinner last night to celebrate, and I asked if I could bring anything. After some debate, it was decided that one of my famous Apple Pie's would hit the spot. (This is the part where I should have a beautiful picture of my apple pie for you, but, alas, I have none.)

I left work a few minutes early so that I could get my pie on, and got my pie on I did. I was a peeling, slicing, sugar-coating machine. I put the pie in the oven with about 50 minutes to spare before I had to leave for Achoo's house. Fast forward those 50 minutes, and I literally took the pie out of the oven and walked out the door.

Mrs. Achoo made lasagna for dinner, and it was very good. She even made special sauce just for me that didn't have meat in it (I asked her to not do that again, I don't mind a few chunks of beef in my sauce. Haha, that sounded wicked dirty...) After dinner, Achoo's aunt came over with ice cream cake and we sat around and had desert. My pie was a hit, and then eventually Achoo and I went downstairs to watch TV.

Obviously, since it was Achoo's birthday, he was entitled to a few, ahem, favors. Here's where the title of my post comes in:

I HAD A BIG-O DURING INTERCOURSE! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?

There are a couple factors that contributed to this: 1) I was on top, 2) I was trying not to make any noise so it was a very slow and deliberate motion.

The funniest thing is that I was shocked! It's never happened to me before, and when we finally finished up, Achoo was so proud of himself. He even joked that thatwas his favorite of all his birthday presents (I also got him a new wallet, a Blue-Ray movie, and boxers).

So ladies, how about you? Have you ever been able to orgasm during intercourse? Was there any specific circumstances that you think led it to happen?

Do or Don't: Period Sex

I've had the privilege of having Aunt Flo over for a visit this weekend, which basically puts a 7-day pause on my sex life. Last night, however, I was feeling the horn, and suggested to Achoo a little romp, despite it being the end of my period.

At first, he wasn't digging it. Achoo is pretty squeamish around blood, and has never brought up the topic of period sex before. So I began using my mouth. Now, I've mentioned before that I enjoy giving oral sex, mostly because I'm good at it, and that I will rarely if ever not do it. In addition, I usually give Achoo BJ's during my period, so that he doesn't go 7 days without letting loose.

After about 15 minutes, he pulled me up and asked how heavy my flow was, and if he'd notice it. I giggled and took that as my que, and headed to the bathroom to situate Lady Land. Indeed, being the tail end of my flow, there was barely anything there, and I assured him that he wouldn't even notice.

Despite Achoo not being a 2-minute man by any stretch of the imagination, he finished after about 10 minutes, which is pretty quick for him. He looked at me after it was all done and says "I guess I need a shower now, huh?" I laughed and showed him that there wasn't anything on his member, like I had promised.

So ladies, the question I pose today is: Is period sex Kosher? I used to do it all the time with Bass, but this was a first with Achoo. I don't think I'll suggest it every month, but at least I can get away with a session or two here and there.

Thoughts, comments, and questions on this topic are greatly appreciated!

~Jersey (I'm on a different computer, and I don't have my signature :-() 

What's Your Number?

So last night I got to talking to Jersey about my number.  My number as in the number of sexual partners I have had in my lifetime.  So, I'm going to put it out there and just tell everyone that my number is 8.  Jersey says that 8 is the average number for women in America.  So, it is safe to assume that by the time I actually find the guy I'm going to marry I will be well above 8. 

In our Sex and the City generation...does the number really matter anymore as long as I'm safe?  Do people really still put a lot of stock in that as a signifier of someone's moral compass?  I have had 1 one night stand...it was last December...and that is a story for another blog but other than that I have been pretty judicious about who I sleep with.  I was also with the same person for 3 years...so that has to say something for me.   

So, whats your number?  Is that even something you think about when you are dating someone new?  I have to admit that going into the double digits does kind of freak me out.  Where does it end?  I also wonder how people who don't have sex really KNOW that is the person they want to be with.  this kind of puts me in a sticky situation because well, on one side, I want to be a good girl and hold out...not be used...but on the other side I'm really just dieing to find someone who not only loves me but wants to rip my clothes off 95% of the time we are together.  To me, sex is a super important part of a relationship...(not the MOST important...but...you know).  It needs to be compatible and enjoyable for all parties.  If I'm trying to decide if this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, well, the sex had better at least be decent if not down right spectacular.  I do think it is a sure sign of how well a relationship will work out.  Case in point: Buddy.  He never got off...never pulled the trigger...never actually DID anything (well, he did something for me...haha)... Kinda speaks volumes for his life OUTSIDE the bedroom.  Right? Right?  Makes sense to me.

Thoughts? opinions?

In Other Bedroom-Related News...

Achoo pronounced me "perfect" last night. We were watching the new episode of Glee! (omg my new favorite show) and I was saying how I refuse to be like Will's wife. I will not A) fake a pregnancy, B) try to "keep up with the Jones', or C) allow my sister's kids to run around the dining room table screaming. As I was waxing poetic about my philosophies on life, Achoo goes, "wow, you really are perfect!".

I laughed, and explained that I was in fact not even remotely perfect. I can be bitchy and bossy sometimes, and I recognize it and try to avoid it. But sometimes the She-Monster does sneak out. He hasn't seen it yet, hence him still thinking I'm perfect. I think if I can just learn to control Her, all will be well.

Needless to say, being called perfect does something for one's sex drive, because when Glee! was over, I proceeded to jump Achoo. Now, lets play a math game. Glee! ended at 10pm. We jumped in the shower to cool down at 11:15. That means we were having sex for an HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES! Granted, there were oral breaks, it wasn't all thrusting, but damn!

Thankfully, Achoo is not a 2-minute man (obiv!). If it's been a while, he may only last 15 minutes, but I don't think we've ever gone less than that. Our average is 45 minutes to an hour. And I love it. I love that we take the time to pleasure each other. And I love that we've become in-tuned with each other so that we know what little things help get each other off

I'm sure some of you are sitting here going "Oh my god, and hour! I wouldn't be able to go that long!" And sure, there are days that I think to myself "C'mon Achoo, get off already!" but for the most part, I enjoy the length of our sessions.

So, here's my poll for today (ok, clearly I'm minorly obsessed with polls. Please just humor me and vote, ok? Thanks!)

create free polls | comment on this

 

He Flipped the Switch Part 2

So to continue on... 

Saturday morning I woke up pretty early.  I had brought Viva with me this weekend so I got up and took her out for a walk.  It was nice.  When I got back Buddy was still sleeping.  I think he can sleep for 12 hours every night.  Jersey can attest, I do not.  I'm lucky if I sleep 8 hours a night during the week.  I usually average about 6.5-7.  It's just how I am.  My internal clock does not allow me to sleep when the sun is out usually.  So...I tried to go back to bed...dozed on and off for a while...  Buddy finally got up around 12.  We ordered some lunch...that was good.  Then we just hung out on the couch...again.  Finally I asked him if he wanted me to stay over again that night.  His response: "I don't have anything going on tonight"  Well, duh.  I then deicded that we were going to get out of the stupid house and go play mini golf. 

I decided to go hop in the shower in anticipation of mini golf.  He says he is next.  Now, maybe I'm just a sexaholic, but any normal guy would have come WITH me in the shower! But no.  This did not happen.  I got out...and he got in...and he took the longest shower I've ever seen a guy take.  All I could think was that he obviously didn't get off the night before so now he is wacking off in the shower.  Probably true.  I was so paranoid I actually went to the door to try and listen. 

Mini golf was fun...short lived but fun.  So, we came back to the apartment after mini golf.  Watched some more true blood and he feel alseep on the couch around 1.  I had drank a GIANT cup of coffee so I was wide awake and finally went to bed at 3.  I woke him up at that point...asked him if he wanted to go to bed...so we did. 

We got into bed...and it was cold...so I snuggled up to him and gave him a kiss expecting something to happen.  His response: "Goodnight."  GOOD NIGHT?!  Are you kidding?!  COME ON!  He then proceeded to spoon me.  I like wtf is this.  I moved to the other side of the bed.  (I don't sleep well like that to begin with.)  So of course my mind is going a mile a minute at this point.  I GET it if you aren't an affectionate person...I GET it if you don't always get off...I do!  But I'm in your bed and you don't even want to try? You don't want to even touch me?  What is this?!  Are you not attracted to me? WHAT?!!?!?

So, I continue thinking...and I have an epiphany.  Buddy and I tend to drink when we are together.  Not heavily or anything...just a few beers or drinks or whatever.  Saturday night we did not drink at all.  Is it strange that this coincides with the first time he doesn't want to hook up?  Does the booze give him the courage to do it and then also stop him from getting off?  I don't know.  Either way, the sex is amazing...I can't see him being self-concious about it.

So, Sunday morning I woke up kinda early again.  I started packing up Viva's and my stuff.  Buddy got up an hour or so later.  We watched yet another episode of True Blood and then I informed him that I was going home.  It was too nice to sit inside and do nothing. 

He helped me out to my car...I told him that he should get out of the house today and do something.  He said he was going to the movies.  Great.  Same channel, different location. 

So, now I am confused.  I do really like this guy, but the no sex saturday night really turned me off and kind of made some of my concerns come to fruition.  It was like we had skipped 10 years and moved right into married couple who only kinda likes each other.  Where is the passion?  Did I already miss it?  The drinking thing bothers me as well...and I'm not a sedantary person...clearly he is.  Will that change?  I don't know...I just don't know.

He Flipped the Switch Part 1

Hello! Sorry for the delay is my posts.  It was quite a busy weekend...kind of.  I'd like to preface this post by saying that I know I'm a nutcase most of the time and that I most likely sabotage any decent relationships that come my way because I'm an awful prat but hey, I can only feel what I feel.  So, here goes.

This weekend I went to CT to see Buddy.  Again.  This now makes it 3 weekends in a row that I have driven an hour and paid $14 in tolls to see him.  He has asked me to come out next weekend as well to go to the Oyster Festival in his town.  While that does sounds like happy rah rah fun, the fact that I have been going out there so much is starting to bother me.  It would NOT bother me if I was going out there with a purpose, but I am not.  He generally does not plan things for us to do and we end up just hanging out on his couch.  I'm the first to admit...I sometimes have weekend ADD.  So, sitting at home on the couch watching True Blood was fun...the first few times we did it.  This weekend though...I started to get a little stir crazy.  It was beautiful outside!!!  Why were we being lazy bums!?  To his credit, he did make reservations for dinner on Friday night at the Melting Pot so that was nice. 

So, to recap the weekend.  Drove out to CT Friday night.  Went to dinner.  Yummo.  I like melted cheese and chocolate.  Went over to Trader Joe's and picked up some random snack food stuff.  Interesting place...  Hung out, watched a movie, watched some true blood, went to bed around 1am.  Had sex for a bit...and this is where shit gets weird. 

Everytime we have had sex he has not gotten off.  I asked him why this was...he said it was the condom.  Ok...well, I've heard of that happening before.  Fine.  So, Friday night I broke my own rule and had sex without a condom. (I KNOW. STUPID.)  I thought it was going great...I was certainly enjoying and it certainly seemed like he was too.  Then all of a sudden he stops and says "let's take a break." umm...ok... and he proceeds to go down on me. WAHOO! love that.  So what he really meant is I'M taking a break...  So after that, he just stopped.  Well, I wasn't going to be so easily put off...I started to give him a blow job.  Great, I think.  I'm good at this.  At first he seems very into it.  Then a few minutes later he tells me to stop.  ummm...WHY?!  So, I question him...what am I doing wrong? What do you want me to do?  I'm sorry but it feels like I'm not doing my job he doesn't cum! It makes me feel like crappola!  He says that sometimes he doesn't...and its not like he never has...he just doesn't.  Ok...whatever...fine.  So I started to feel a little funny about all this.  I was already on edge because well, the relationship is new...the sex is new...he should be ripping my clothes off at all hours of the day AND night! What's the issue!!! 

So, I went to bed completely frustrated and annoyed...but ready to give it some time.

Curious Sex Owie... (A Minor Overshare of a Post)

So, I've mentioned my previous bouts with Awkward Sex, but I have a new one for you today, peeps!

As I mentioned in a post last week, Achoo has been off in Las Vegas at a conference for his job. Boo. He comes back tomorrow, though, and I have the awesome job of Newer-Girlfriend-Who-Picks-Newer-Boyfriend-Up-From-The-Airport! I'm reminded of one of my favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally, and the scene in the airplane when Harry explains that you can always tell when people are in new relationships because they go with each other to the airport. I don't have speakers on my work computer, but I'm pretty sure this is the right scene. If not, well then just enjoy:

 

Anyway, back to the sex. So before Achoo left, as I mentioned, despite being sick, I felt the need to give him a little good-bye whoopee. As I exposed "Junior", I noticed a small cut on the underside. I questioned him about it, and he explained he had nicked it shaving. (I'm not really sure how that worked, but I believe him.) 

We go about out business, hang out for a bit, and then he leaves to go pack. Bye, bye, boyfriend. So I'm sitting there, and I start to notice that Lady Land is a little sore. Like, an almost itchy sore. 

Now, before you jump to conclusions, don't! Achoo has not given me a magical fast-acting STD! But, I do think it was related to his penis! Here's my theory:

• I had shaved the day before, so there was a certain amount of regrowth, that always results in a bit of a twitch.
• That little, teeny-tiny nick of a cut on the underside of his Junior, well I'm pretty sure that scraped me on the inside. Now think of a small cut, when it "scabs" it gets a little itchy, right?

(Semi-gross statement alert!) I made sure to smell any discharge I had while I was itchy, and it always smelled perfectly fine. (In fact, I must say, no wonder Achoo likes to hang out down there, I smell good!) And since yesterday, all has been well in Lady Land. No itch, no scratch, no pain.

So what do you think of my theory? Has your BF, husband, or other ever had a cut that scraped you on the inside? I could definitely feel the cut with my finger, and it was scratchy, so I can't imagine what it would do to the sensitive inside walls of Lady Land!

Thanks for putting up with my over-sharing!

The Best sex EVER.

Despite the mini drama of my last post, Friday night I had the BEST sex ever.  EVER.  Orgasm...THREE times.  That NEVER happens to me.  I'm usually a wham bam thank you ma'am kinda girl.  Once I'm done...I'm done.  But holy crap it didn't stop.  I must say that maybe this is one of the perks of dating an older guy.  He is 32...so not THAT old...but old enough to be experienced.  I know I've mentioned it before but sex for me in the past year has been pretty lack luster. 

So, with that said...even if Buddy turns out to be a total douche...which given my track record with men, is completely possible... At least I've now had 2 night os crazy, unbelievable sex to lift my spirits.